Raw nerve

No more blogposts until I improve my Verbal Reasoning.

Twisted Nerve

One thing that needs to be stressed more than ever before in modern times is the distinction between forced marriages and arranged marriages. However, before opening 'Pandora's Box', we ought to evaluate the recent media frenzy surrounding the other "Abedin", with particular focus on interfaith relationship.

Whilst the stricture on interfaith relationship in Asian culture mystifies many people from this part of the hemisphere, it helps to take a look at the history of 1947 India before saying, "What's the big deal, man? we live in the 21st Century!!!" The point is, why such restriction? Why is she the victim? Are her parents not the victims? and more importantly, So what are the cultural norms in Bengali Muslim society?

Starting with the last question, first. Cultural setting in a Bengali Muslim society. It varies. In most cases, members form an inclusive relationship within a family where there is a strong bond. I find this difficult to articulate because cultural settings of Bengalis cannot be defined in two short sentences nor can it be defined elaborately, and unless an individual lives in this part of the society, he/she will surely fail to appreciate aspects of this society that seem nonsensical the Western world (and I do apologise for using the taboo 'W').

What does outrage me is, in Humayra's case, I believe her parents' are the victims. Which now takes me on to tackling my question on the victims' issue. Now you may disagree with me on this matter since it was Humayra's parents who locked her up. Firstly, I strongly doubt they would have slaughtered her. Putting aside their actions over the last couple of months, are they not the same two individuals who gave her life? There is no history of them having abused her as a child. Hence, we cannot assume two psychotic twisted individuals to be the parents of a trainee doctor. They have not restricted her career aspirations. Moreover, and secondly, perhaps the only thing they could ever desired from their daughter is for her to marry someone who is from the similar background (Religious/Cultural/Education/Status Quo). Most likely, and obviously, this was in the best intention for Humayra's long-term wellbeing, as it is what any right-minded parent would wish for. Although not all parents in Bangladesh are fussy to this extent, Humayra's parents have stressed on compatibility, and surely, Humayra was aware from a very early age.

Where I do feel empathetically for Humayra is that she was not on a similar level of thought to her parents' wishes, and loved a man as a human being without creed. She may well have been aware of the consequence of this disparity of thought between herself and her parents. In which case, where overwhelming love could not reconcile with parental expectations, she could surely have been emancipated from her parents ??? On the other hand, her parents' could have disowned her instead of creating this embarassing saga.

While it may not be a sin to love someone of another faith and while it is not impossible to show affection as a human being, we must bear in mind that it is a greater sin to knowingly hurt others be it feelings or using violence.

Emon Deshti Kothao Khuje Pabe Nako Tumi: AlieNation

On coming 16th December, Bengalis (of Bangladesh) will remember the 37th year of independence of Bangladesh from Pakistan. It may seem monotonous to religiously recall this day; a bit like Christmas with recurring Christmas jingles throughout the month but without the presents to compensate for. However, the event of Bangladesh marks a significant day in the history of Bengal and the end to a sad 9 months prior to establishing a proud and a patriotic nation. Yet after the same 37 years, we continue to strive as a nation, unable to put our differences aside and work collectively. A certain portion of us (Bengalis) take shelter under our orthodox beliefs, perhaps sometimes to save our backs for our misdeeds.

A short telefilm, based on the same name given for this blog post, inspired me to write about my fragmented country of origin. When an expatriate (of native ancestry) visits the place, it is of course far from utopia. Initially, there is not so much of a sense of belonging. But eventually, some may even love this country. It’s like Hajj for a culturally-deprived Bengali. Although, individual experiences will probably differ.

My subject is more on the ranks of diversity, based on one colour, and yet many degrees of thoughts. The best example I can give to you is about the mullah (Religious man) who lives next door in Bangladesh. This guy is rather amusing; he refuses to stare at women whilst speaking to them, is pretty orthodox, and has an interest-free current account at Standard Chartered (An elitist bank in Bangladesh, which many of you may know, charges interest on other account packages) as opposed to having one in an Islamic Bank (which does not accept interest per se). In this instance, the secular individuals would be ultra-critical of Mr Mullah. Then again, on the other end of the spectrum, is the Bengali who flies off on a honeymoon to another Islamic nation – Malaysia. I would like to quote her humorous conversation with the Malay waiter, as she placed an order for two, “Excuse me. Can we order items that do not contain Pork/Bacon because we’re Muslims? And can we have two bottles of beers, please?!!” On this note, Mr Mullah will be ultra-critical of Ms Honeymoon. But neither Mullah nor Ms Honeymoon hold a monopoly over what it is to be a Bangladeshi. Heritage of Bengal goes a long a way back, and thus, identity should not be confined to a mere 37 years.

Both Mullah and Ms Honeymoon are Bengalis living in a nation that comprises of a cosmopolitan and religiously indigenous population equally, but it is a nation that is not defined by multiculturalism as is Britain. When in Bangladesh, it seems okay to be different. Whilst the definition of being a Bengali might be loose, it is in that definition, Bangladesh – a kedgeree nation – has its own unique spot on the world map.

If

"You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffying like that... would Columbus have discovered America if he said, 'What if I sink on the way over...'" - Willy Wonka (Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator)